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The author, through the stoner's father. Photo by Matt Price
I’ve always said that if ns ever come to be the boy of someone wealthy or renowned I will fall off the challenge of the earth and live the end my job staring in ~ the sea. Doing ingredient sucks. Some days i stare at the clouds and also daydream around all the things I wouldn’t carry out if i were rich. I wouldn’t climb a high mountain. I wouldn’t jump out of a plane. I wouldn’t create the good American novel. Ns wouldn’t walk to Paris, Madagascar, or Mozambique. I wouldn’t even chew mine food—I’d pay who to chew it for me and spit it into my mouth like a bird.
And that’s why Tony Hawk’s son, Riley, annoys me. I don’t gain that kid, nor carry out I know what his problem is. His dad is rich—possibly one of the wealthiest skateboarders of every time—and still Riley insists on act shit. End the years, he’s end up being a good skateboarder, like his dad, and he’ll probably go agree one day. He also quit his dad’s company, Birdhouse, come ride for Baker to show he deserve to make that on his own. If I had a dad that owned a skateboard firm I would certainly make him turn me pro as soon as I was able to speak, and also I sure as hell wouldn’t bother discovering to skate. I’d just have actually him buy me the best skater in the world, a la Richard Pryor in The Toy, and inform the ska that that was currently me and would be transforming his surname to mine and also putting out video parts because that me. I think Nyjah Huston would certainly look an excellent with my haircut.
Photos the Riley and also Figgy by Ryan Allan
On a recent trip to Tony’s southerly California house I asked the what Riley to be up to, and he said me to go into the garage and see for myself. Ns was annoyed to uncover Riley jamming out v his buddies like he wasn’t wealthy as all hell. Now he’s play music? offer me a fucking break. What’s next? getting a job? Riley hawk is serious the all time worst at being a rich kid. And also his dad is a total enabler. He’s LETTING Riley skate and also play music. If ns were Tony I’d it is in like, “Listen! We’re rich! reduced the shit and stop acting favor the peasants!” yet no! He motivates him. Ns asked that what he believed of Riley play music, hope he’d it is in pissed the his child was showing initiative, however instead that said, “After one minute that jamming, that sounds prefer they repeat the exact same thing… for HOURS. Yet maybe I simply don't gain the melodic nuances. I like the creative atmosphere, though, and also there is constantly someone to skate with. However I could do there is no the parking issues and also dog shit everywhere.”
Fucking whatever, Tony. Salary a homeless guy to choose up the dog shit. No, much better yet, pay a homeless male to eat the dog shit while you do it rain top top him. Go spin an additional 900, bro.
Here’s an interview i did through Riley about his music in the hope that he would drop the act and also admit he was just pretending and actually paying someone to play because that him.
betterworld2016.org: exactly how would you explain the music you make in her old man’s garage?Riley Hawk: Usually, as soon as it’s me and my buddies, I’d describe it as simply a bunch the friends who don’t really recognize what they’re doing, make the efforts to make music. I’ve played because that a pair years, however we don’t recognize anything about what secrets to beat in and all that kind of stuff. We simply go because that it.
Tell me about what you’ve obtained going with Figgy? space you a band? Or execute you simply jam out?Figgy is in a pair bands. In ~ his house they have actually a ar where lock jam, yet they acquired in trouble since it was also loud. I had actually all this ingredient at my house, for this reason they began coming over and also practicing here. Whenever human being are over, it simply turns right into a jam through everybody. It’s typically me, Figgy, and Austin ~ above drums—he’s the drummer in Figgy’s band, Harsh Toke.
That’s a an excellent name because that a stoner band. Carry out you guys have actually a stoney name for her band?No, we’re no a band. Everyone just hops on everything instrument and also messes around.
Do you need to be stoned to do stoner rock?I don’t think so…
But it helps, right?Yeah, ns guess. I median it is called stoner rock.
Are you guys just fucking around, or room you trying to do it big?No, no way. I’m simply fucking around. However Figgy’s band is super good. They’re actually making a record right now.
What does her dad think of her music?I don’t know. He’s normally out of town once we’re being loud, just due to the fact that when he’s below we don’t want to play loud and also bum the out. But whenever Figgy and those guys are playing it sounds just as great as any type of other tape these days, for this reason it’s not a bummer come hear an excellent music.
He said me he’s bummed top top it. He stated you males suck!Really? i guess we have to step our video game up.
He said the an initial minute sounds good but after the it sounds favor the exact same shit over and also over and also over again.Yeah, those males go for choose 20 or 30 minutes right on the same song; it gets kind of gnarly.
On one tune? You’ve got to it is in high come play the exact same song because that 30 minutes. Who’s your inspiration, Phish?Who’s that?
They’re like the even shittier grateful Dead. They store playing and don’t stop.I’ve never listened to them. I’m no too big a fan of the thankful Dead. I don’t listen to them.
That’s good. Castle suck. Usually stoners hear to the crap.No, ns couldn’t really obtain into that.
Your dad likewise complains around the parking and the dog shit. Is it actually dog shit, or is that dude shit?No, it’s certainly my dogs. He just hit me up the various other day speak I need to be more on peak of the dog shit. It’s hard since my dad’s backyard is huge. There’s so lot grass, it’s tough to uncover where my dog is walk every day.
Do friend wipe her dog’s ass with the toilet document you keep stealing from your old man?No, definitely not. There’s just a bathroom right in front so if there’s nobody in mine room i go in there and also grab some. But he simply showed me this closet area where he keeps all the rolls, so I stopped stealing his.
I choose the vision of Birdman finding out the hard way that there’s no toilet file on the roll. Your dad is quite rich, go he simply use rolls of $100 receipt to wipe his ass?No. Ns think it’s similar to whatever, conventional stuff.
Like 20s?No, prefer fives, ns think. I’m just kidding. It’s just standard toilet document like anyone else.
Does her dad ever before act like an old guy? Does the come in v the robe on and also yell in ~ you children to revolve down that racket?No. Never. If the does text me and also say it’s according to I’ll rotate it down. However usually we shot to play once he’s not at the house.
Does he ever before ask to perform vocals on among your songs?My dad? No. We don’t even have a microphone. I think it would be ashamed if we had actually a microphone. Maybe we can obtain him to song on one of Figgy’s best track and send friend the recording.
How big of a burden is the to it is in Tony Hawk’s kid?I think it’s rad that my dad skates. Ns wouldn’t have actually it any other way.
When it pertains to street skating, friend look much better on your board 보다 your dad. Perform you constantly repeat him the that?Ha! No, i don’t think so. Possibly for street, yet on vert I’m nowhere close come what he’s doing. However I mental there to be a time as soon as I was doing a street trick that he couldn’t do and also he was tripped out by it.
I have actually a photo here with a bong in it. Is that basically an additional instrument for your stoner rock?I don’t yes, really smoke v bongs. Ns don’t prefer them also much. They’re type of intense. Mine friends commonly come and also go through them.
They travel with a bong?Some people do, yeah.
In a car?Yeah, i guess it has to be in a car.
Do you recognize how bad your car would smell if that spilled?That’s an extremely true. It’s high-risk bong transportation.
I go a beer bong with your old man. You ever try to get him high?No, never. And I’m not a big drinker so I’ve never even done a beer bong myself.
So your dad can out-party you?Yeah, definitely. I’m certain he could.
Does your dad play any kind of instruments?I don’t think so. I’m not sure if when he to be younger he did however now i don’t think that does.
Does her uncle, Mike Hawk, play any kind of instruments?Uh, no. Yet my action dad was named Mike. His last name wasn’t Hawk, though. The would’ve been awesome if that was named Mike Hawk.
I’m a vast fan the Mike Hawk!I know. Therefore many human being tell me the I have to name my child Mike Hawk; the name always comes up.
Do girlfriend have any groupies for your band?No, I have actually a girlfriend. I’ve been through her for over a year now.
So she’s her groupie.I guess so.
Tell me around the groupies on the Asphalt Yacht Club pilgrimage you walk on in Miami.Dude! i don’t also know how to explain it. Stevie
I heard they to be half-naked large booty video clip gals and you were rather uncomfortable.No. My friend Russell was going roughly having them execute all species of shit prefer a full on music video clip director. It to be funny.
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Here’s Riley in the latest Thrasher Skate rock clip:
Previously - within the Writer's Studio
For an ext Riley walk to http://www.asphaltyachtclub.com/
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